Parent list 9: parental controls for apps/devices, living with adult children & love bombs
Social media guides for parents for each app, a brilliant piece on adult children & emotions that you need to read now & a reminder to show the love
Welcome back. I’ve got a few snippets here this week which you may find useful or interesting. The headlines about social media bans continue and there is much talk of parental controls. So I thought a list of the links to the places you can find parental controls for each app or device may be helpful. You need to get involved and download these apps yourself to see how they work and what you can support your teen with. Click on the links in bold below and settle down with a cup of tea and who ever else is parenting your teens and have a look at how the Parental Controls work.
Firstly here is a Template of a family digital contract - these are useful to fill in and set before a phone is handed over: do it together and listen to what your teen is telling you. Or you can start one now if they have a phone. It may provoke eye rolling, sulking and grumbling but parenting is not a popularity contest so knuckle down and get it done. These rules apply to you too. There need to be consequences for broken contracts too this could be less screen time, more chores, or perhaps loss of the phone if serious.
My main rules are 1) no phones in bedrooms over night 2) a consistent digital curfew time which changes with age 3) no phones at the dinner tableFor more information on this I like the work of the Digital Parenting Coach Elizabeth Molividov .
And The Gamer Educator on Instagram explains gaming and how to negotiate things with your teen. The website Internet Matters is helpful too.
PARENTAL CONTROLS LIST FOR YOU
And here is a list of app/device links which show you how to set up parental controls
Blog guide to YouTube pre-teen and teen shared experience controls
Google Family guidance on setting up controls/time on devices etc
Comprehensive list of all apps parental controls here on Internet Matters
TikTok family controls explained on Internet Matters
Instagram's teen accounts guide and explanation.
How to use parental controls for your teen/child's iPhone or Ipad
Snapchat's family centre parent guide
Roblox parent guide also read Keza Macdonald’s work in the Guardian on gaming and this piece on Roblox here
Online Safety guidance for parents from the NSPCC
There is very little writing or advice on how to live with your adult children but this piece, which is part personal, part professional, by psychotherapist Julia Samuel is brilliant: Adolescence lasts into your 30s – so how should parents treat their adult children?
Just a reminder that January is tough for teens and young people, it’s been grey and grim in the UK, they’ve just come back from a break, they may also be feeling overwhelmed as exam season kicks in and they have also got to make choices around subjects at school.
Uni/College may be coming to a close and a move home is a possibility, or it may dawn on them school full time is coming to an end, friends may have moved away, there may be other changes so do not forget to get generous with small spontaneous treats, or little love bombs that say ‘I see you” or offer a chance for connection.
Maybe it is a takeaway on a weeknight out of the blue, an impromptu family pizza outing, a TV subscription they have wanted perhaps, that piece of clothing they love, those Tesco tear n’ share cinnamon buns, or whatever is meaningful to your teen.
Think of a way of doing it out of the blue and with low fuss and a low expectation of the response you may get. It makes young people feel seen and that they matter, it isn’t about the cost of the gift, it is about the emotional value it holds for them. Good luck.
Next week: teens & adult children and MONEY! The big bone of contention for many of us. I have interview a brilliant financial psychotherapist on how to tackle budgets, spending, contributing, saving and earning. This will be one of my expert explainers here.
