Sexual desire & midlife

What women told me

I wrote a piece for The Guardian today based on a sex survey we completed for our podcast Postcards From Midlife. We asked members of our private Facebook Group over 40 about their needs, desires and sexual relationships today and it was fascinating.

This is The Guardian opinion piece, READ GUARDIAN PIECE HERE which as a former editor of Cosmopolitan I do feel very qualified to write, after all I spent several years being sent giant vibrators and also reading Gen X readers’ sexual confessions so I know my subject well, but that is a whole other newsletter to come (as it were).

Have a read and let me know your thoughts in the comments. It struck me that society is some how ashamed or embarrassed by older women talking about sexuality and we are in turn perhaps confused about it ourselves as a result of this attitude. I’d be particularly interested in what younger women think their future sex life holds and how much they value intimacy in a relationship because the landscape around dating and sexuality has changed so much since I edited Cosmo.

I was at dinner with a vibrant woman in her mid twenties last week and her tales of the dating app experience sent shivers down my spine, one man informed her he didn’t like talking on the phone ever so she should either do her talking in bed with him or via text. She was so confused and shocked because her dates had gone so well with him, she felt the young men she meets now feel they could lay down the rules and expect women to adhere to them because they can move on to some one else so swiftly. I am sure women have positive experiences too but this felt like a bar to sexual intimacy to me. I’d love to know where younger women feel their sexual power lies because hopefully by the time the next generation reaches midlife the medical profession will have caught up and be able to support the physical needs of those going through perimenopause and menopause (as I explain in the piece) which will liberate them sexually.

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Listen to our podcast here: POSTCARDS FROM MIDLIFE