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Fiona Turnbull's avatar

What are your tips Lorraine? We’re facing this for the first time and our daughter hasn’t expressed anything specific about the arrangements yet. We thought we’d unpack the car, hang about a bit to meet other flat mates / parents then go for food shopping whilst she unpacks. We’d then leave with the commitment to be talking and seeing her again soon.

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Lorraine Candy's avatar

Sounds about right though most teens don’t want you to chat to other teens on the day, they like to be in charge and are reluctant to involve you so immediately in their new life. I think it works best when you ask them how they want to do it and respect that while voicing your needs to though of course they must feel listened to. We left a little note in her packing for her to read and to say we would miss her and she could come home any time! And we kept the goodbye minimal even though that was hard!

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Aug 27, 2022Edited
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Lorraine Candy's avatar

They do have specific wants and needs at this age: maybe worth asking him why he would rather do alone and perhaps there is a halfway agreement? So maybe you could come to the city but let him settle himself in the accommodation himself and meet you afterwards? I know my eldest was nervous I would be ‘too emotional’ at the halls so we had to agree a way of parting! One hug only and I was not allowed to unpack or organise her room with her or even meet anyone in the rest of the halls! I kept to that as it is so important they feel listened to and heard.

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